I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
