no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
