and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
