So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
