And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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