I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
