Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
