You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
