my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
