something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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