We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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