The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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