she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
