it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
