I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
