Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
