we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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