You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
