Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
time to smoke my breakfast
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
