I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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