The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
