i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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