Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
