If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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