Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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