if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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