ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
