i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
