I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
