What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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