Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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