is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
