I don't think brook has ever known best
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
