Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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