also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
