It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
