when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
