I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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