STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
