i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
