woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
