uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
