I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
