you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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