Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Can I color on your dick again?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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