We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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