I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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