she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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