You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
