help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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